Inside: 37+ Funny Football Quotes (Touchdown Worthy).

Football season is all about the games, family, friends, and food. Whether you’re the type to watch every game or you only tune in for the Super Bowl, football is a great excuse to get everyone together to eat great food and cheer on your favorite teams.

And of course, there’s nothing more fun than watching your school’s football team play on a chilly fall weekend.

Regardless of where you’re watching football, you’ll probably be posting some cute game day pics to Instagram. But you’ll probably be so caught up in the game that you may want some help thinking up witty captions to go with them. No need to worry.

Here are 37+ funny football quotes that will make you game day ready.

Funniest NFL Quotes

Funny Football Quotes

Here are a few of our favorite funny football quotes that are full of action-packed fun!

1. Punt intended.

2. I’ve never met a stadium I didn’t like.

3. I’m only watching to see which player is the cutest.

4. Thinking your team could beat us is real fantasy football.

5. Sorry for what I said during the game.

6. Actions speak louder than coaches.

7. Does this game have a halftime show, too?

Funny Football One-Liners

Check out these funny football one-liners that perfectly represent the love of the game!

8. I like big punts and I cannot lie.

9. Relationship status: in love with football.

Silly Football Quotes

10. I even Googled it and I still couldn’t find any competition.

11. BRB, gotta paint my face.

12. Football isn’t football without food.

13. How many layers of dip should I make?

14. Not gonna lie, I’m here for the food.

Silly Football Quotes + Sayings

Who doesn’t love silly funny football quotes? These quotes are perfect for a football-inspired Instagram post, that will make your post game day worthy!

15. Tackling this game one snack at a time.

16. Did someone say chips and dip?

17. I gotta prepare for those victory snacks.

18. Pride, passion and pretzels.

19. I’m here for football and friends but mostly for food.

20. I’m eating like a champion today.

Funniest NFL Quotes

Throughout the years, the NFL has shown its players to be tough, serious athletes, but there’s been a lighter side to the game and everyone associated with it as well. Here are some examples of that humor, in the form of one-liners and short quips. These aren’t in any order and are based on very limited criteria. I tried keeping the list to NFL quotes and tried limiting them to lines that are funny by themselves.

21. “I rub it in pretty good when I win.” —Tom Brady

22. Where’s my fantasy football team when I need it?

23. It’s game day!

Game Day Sayings

24. Refuse to lose.

25. “Anything is possible in football.” — Virgil van Dijk

26. Champions play as won.

27. It’s all about my team.

28. 11 Players, one heartbeat.

29. Our blood, our sweat, your tears.

30. I can’t make plans. I’m too busy watching the game.

31. Today’s forecast: 100% chance of winning.

32. “The pressure is something you feel when you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.” ―Peyton Manning

Funny Football Quotes for Kids

These funny football jokes are perfect for kids and a good laugh. Share them will your favorite silly little football fan and share in the joy of the game (and a good joke)!

33. Q: What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
A: Give me my quarterback!

34. Q: What do you call a Jacksonville Jaguar at the Super Bowl?
A: A spectator

35. Q: Why did god invent football?
A: So that married men could have some physical contact in their lives.

36. Q: Why don’t the Detroit Lions have a website?
A: They can’t string three “w’s” together

37. Q: Which football team cooks gourmet meals together?
A: The Kansas City Chefs

38. Q: What do you call a 350 pound Packer fan?
A: An anorexic

39. Q: How do you stop a Atlanta Falcons fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in a Saints Jersey

40. Q: Why do coaches like punters?
A: Because punters always put their best foot forward.

What Are Some Funny Quotes About Mom and Football?

We all know a football momma out there! Maybe you are one, but chances are you at least know one, these momma funny football quotes are perfect for her.

41. Loud and proud football Mom.

42. Busy raising ballers!

43. Tailgates, tackles, and touchdowns. 

Funny Football OneLiners

44. My heart is on the field.

45. Sorry, I can’t my kid has practice, a game, or whatever.

46. He only loves football and his mama!

47. I’m a football mom, we don’t do that whole keep calm thing.

More Fun Quotes You’ll Love to Share

If you get a “kick” out of these funny football quotes, then check out a few more of our favorite sports-related sayings!

  • Gym Quotes for Women – Looking for a little motivation? You came to the right place! Think of us as your personal hype – team with these motivational messages.  Maybe you are a working mom who needs some motivation to keep at her workout routine. Perhaps you are a healthy woman who needs a reminder to stay the course even when kids seem to get in the way. I hope these fit quotes help you and inspire you to stay focused on your fitness journey as you strive closer to your goals.
  • Soccer Player Quotes – There isn’t a sport quite like soccer. What else can capture the hearts of millions around the world? These soccer player quotes take some of the best players and minds and capture the essence of what makes the sport so wonderful.Hopefully, they bring back your own memories of being on the pitch and doing whatever you could to win.
  • Softball Quotes – Softball isn’t just a game, it’s a way of life. There is something magical about the grass, dirt and the bases. Not everyone gets it, and that’s okay. But for those of us that do, it is everything. These Softball quotes will remind you of all the joy and glory that you’ve experienced on the diamond. Some girls want diamond rings, but for us, a day spent on the grass and dirt is all we need.

Funny Football Quotes