Inside: Hilarious Hangover Quotes that will make you want to watch the movie and then plan a guys weekend stat.

Everyone has seen the Hangover, and if you haven’t, you are missing out. This comedy movie took 2009 by storm and hasn’t fully left ever since. It was an instant classic that would produce instant laughs, so of course, it was popular.

Today, I wanted to share some of the best Hangover quotes without context. I love giving quotes without context, especially when it comes to comedy. This way, it’s even more out of pocket, which makes it funnier.

I didn’t think this was possible when it came to the Hangover, but it is.

Funniest Hangover Quotes without context

So take a look at the list below. Those of you who have seen it will get it, and those of you who haven’t are going to want to watch the movie ASAP.

Hangover Quotes

This movie stars four hilarious men, among which are Bradley Cooper and Zac Galifianakis, so if you love those two, then you are guaranteed to love this movie. Let’s jump right into this comedy fest; there is so much ground to cover.

1. “‘ You are literally too stupid to insult.’ Thank you.”

2. “Can I ask you a question? Do you know if the hotel is pager friendly? I’m not getting a sig on my beeper.”

3. “My uncle Rodger said that he once saw an albino polar bear. ‘Really, Polar bears are white. How would he know if it’s an albino?’ This one was black.”

4. “Not you fat Jesus, slide it on back.”

5. “Oh! Holy F***! He’s not kidding! There’s a tiger in there!”

6. “Dude, I was being sarcastic.”

7. “Mr. Wenneck, I was..’It’s the weekend. I do not know you, you do not exist.'”

8. “When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it’s funny in any language.”

Plus its not a man purse, its called a satchel. Indiana jones wears one.

9. “I was so upset when my grandpa died. ‘how did he die?’ World War II. ‘Died in battle?’ No, he was skiing in Vermont. It was just during World War II.”

10. “Plus, it’s not a man’s purse, it’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.”

11. “You know what, Doug? You should enjoy yourself because come Sunday, you’re going to start dying just a little bit every day.”

12. “I just don’t want to get people’s expectations up, and then disappoint them later.”

13. “Phil, we’re not even going to be in the room. It’s one night, we can share beds. It’s not big deal.”

14. “You know, I meant to tell you earlier, that’s a really cool vest you got on.’Thanks, Phil, it was my dad’s. He died in it.”

15. “I have over 60 apps on that phone. Do yu have any idea how much time and how many hours it would take to redownload those apps?”

Funny Quotes from the Hangover

Next up, we have some of the funniest quotes from the hangover. Objectively some may not seem that funny, but when you watch the movie, you are going to think these are the best. The no-context thing is getting to you, huh? I guess that means you better watch the movie. I’m not trying to bully you, or am I?

16. “This isn’t the real Caesar’s Palace is it?”

17. “Doc, we don’t remember anything from last night, remember.”

18. “Hey, there are skittles in there!”

19. “I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack.”

20. “Vegas!

21. “I hate Godzilla! I hate him too! I hate him! He destroys cities!”

22. “Your language is offensive.”

23. “Hey Guys, you ready to let the dogs out?

24. “Check its collar or something.”

25. “Uh, you know what? Next week’s no good; the Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that is totally fine.”

26. “Whatever happens tonight, I will never, ever, ever speak a word of it. Seriously, I don’t care what happens; I don’t care if we kill someone.”

27. “I don’t think you should curse around a child.”

28. “Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser? Ya? Well, he turned out to be gay.”

29. “You’re not my friend! Don’t say that, Phil. Are you serious? Not even in America?”

30. “We made a pack, Wolfpack only!”

"Hey Guys, you ready to let the dogs out?"

Funniest Hangover Quotes Without Context

I saved the funniest for last. These are some of the best lines from the entire movie, and you will agree with me once you read them. Each has its own unique touch that just pushes you over the edge. I was giggling while finding these, I am not even going to lie to you. I hope you are giggling while reading them, they are just that good!

31. “Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don’t, but do me a favor: don’t text me, it’s gay.”

32. “Hey, Phil, am I missing a tooth?”

33. “Oh, my God! Oh, my God! You just nailed the baby.”

34. “Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.”

35. Alan: “Hey guys, when’s the next Halley’s comet?”

Phil: “Who cares, man.” Alan: “Do you know, Stu?” Stu: “I don’t think it’s for like another 60 years or something.” Alan: “But it’s not tonight, right?” Stu: “No, I don’t think so.” Alan: “But you don’t know for sure? I have this cousin Marcus who saw one he said it blew his mind I want to make sure I never ever miss out on a Halley’s comet.”

36. “…When my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So there… there were two of us in the wolf pack.”

37. ““What, your purse?” Alan: “That’s not a purse. That’s a satchel!” Mr. Chow: “It’s a purse! OK? And you steal from wrong guy!”

38. “Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for Herpes. That sh-t’ll come back with you.”

39. “We’re in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is cool?”

40. “We’re in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is cool?”

41. “I’ve found a baby before.”

42. “Counting cards is a foolproof system. […] It’s not illegal. It’s frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane.”

43. “I look like a nerdy hillbilly!”

44. “Would you shut up and drive before these nerds ask me another question.”

45. “What Do Tigers Dream Of, When They Take A Little Tiger Snooze?”

Hangover Quote


I think it’s safe to say that the Hangover is a comedy that will go down in history. Of course, Alan is my favorite character, but they all have their own unique part to play in this hilarious and mischievous movie.

If you loved these hilarious quotes, then you have to check out some of my other funny quote ideas. I have so many things to share; this was just the beginning. What can I say? I am passionate about having big laughs that make my eyes water, and these quotes are what make that happen.

I know what it’s like to feel left out of the memes, so if you haven’t seen the hangover yet, don’t worry. You should be excited because you get to experience this movie for the first time. I will warn you; it’s a bit Rated R, but if that doesn’t you then you should love this movie more than anything.