Inside: Funny Animal Quotes for Your Favorite Pet

I am going to be bold in my statement here, but I think MOST everyone loves being around animals. To bold? I mean think about it, dogs. Period. They are the cutest little things ever, and don’t even get me started on cats! I could cuddle with my cat all day long if he would let me.

From the littlest of goldfish to great big canines, we have some funny animal quotes that are dedicated to you and the love of your pet! 

Funny Pet Quotes

Funny Animal Quotes

1. “The household cat is really a tiger that has undergone three counseling programs.”

2. “The fate of animals is of far greater importance to me than the fear of appearing ridiculous.”

3. “The heart of animals is the foundation of their life, the sovereign of everything within them, the sun of their microcosm, that upon which all growth depends, from which all power proceeds.”

4. Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend

5. “In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”

6. “Big fish eat little fish.”

7. “Always remember, a cat looks down on man, a dog looks up to man, but a pig will look man right in the eye and see his equal.”

8. “Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.”

Hilarious Animal Captions

You and your furry four-legged friend will love these funny pet quotes!

9. “If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.”

10. “Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.”

11. “Animals are such agreeable friends — they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.”

Hilarious Animal Captions

12. “God in his wisdom made the fly, And then forgot to tell us why.”

13. “Size isn’t everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.”

14. “We’ve all done this because we’re so mature. You see a cow on the side of the road, stick your head out the window and go, “Mooooo!”  Like we expect the cow to think, “Hey, there’s another cow, driving that car! How can he afford that?”

15. “Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.”

16. Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

Dog Jokes

17. No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.

18. Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.

19. There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.

Funny Animal Messages

20. Never break a promise to an animal. They’re like babies, they won’t understand.

21. “If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.”

22. “Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.”

23. A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution.

24. “Animals are such agreeable friends — they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.”

25. I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

26. If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because you lap is warmer.

27. The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

28. Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

29. “You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!”

30. “A dog is not ‘almost human’ and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such.”

Funny Quotes About Animals and Humans

31. “A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue.” 

32. “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.”

33. “Happiness is a warm puppy.”

34. “Meow” means “woof” in cat.” 

Funny Animal Message

35. “Cats choose us; we don’t own them.”

36. “No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise.”

37. “Only dead fish go with the flow.”

38. “Birds born in cages think that flying is an illness.”

39. “People that say “Money can’t buy happiness” have never paid an adoption fee.”

Funny Animal Christmas Quotes

40. On every Christmas morning, you can see a puppy in my Dog.

41. My dog is the witness that I am the best present giver in the family.

42. On every Christmas eve, Santa’s Jingling and my Dog barking can be heard.

43. I don’t think Christmas is necessarily about things. It’s about being good to one another. – Carrie Fisher

44. – 55. Hilarious national dog day quotes you need to see

56. The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up n each other. – Burton Hills

57. Spending this Christmas with my most loyal buddy.

More Fun Quotes You’ll Love to Share

If you like these funny animal quotes then check out a few more of our favorite silly saying ideas. 

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Funny Animal Quotes