Inside: Laugh your way to the bank: funny money quotes that’ll brighten your day

Money, a subject that often invokes seriousness and stress, doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. In fact, I have found that it’s quite refreshing to approach the topic with a lighthearted perspective. Why should it be so serious? It’s so heavily interwoven into our daily lives!

From renowned comedians to famous business moguls, the world of finance has spawned some truly hilarious and witty remarks regarding money.

Photo of hand holding money.

So I thought, why not curate a list of side-splitting funny money quotes that will not only put a smile on your face but also provide a momentary escape from the seriousness of financial matters? So, sit back, relax, and get ready to chuckle your way through these funny money quotes that remind us all to take life, and our bank accounts, with a grain of humor.

Funny Money Quotes

I think one of my new passions in life is to take things that are normally taboo to talk about, and make them hilarious. Next up, I will be covering death! Just kidding, that one might be a little hard. But I hope you enjoy these!

1. Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. – Groucho Marx

2. If you’re given the choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal. – Katharine Hepburn

3. Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. – Spike Milligan

4. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. – Washington Post

5. Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did.” –James Arthur Baldwin

6. Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” – Bill Vaughn

7. “Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” – Satchel Paige

8. I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age – which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday. – Noel Coward

9. Too many people spend money to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.” – Will Rogers

10. Money is like manure. It isn’t worth anything unless it’s spread around. – Brooke Astor

11. When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.” – Nick Arnette


Hilarious Quotes About Cash

I really struggled when holding back my desire to make this entire list quotes from Johnny Cash, so be proud of me. I truly believe that there are so many benefits to pulling back the veil of seriousness around money. Once you start laughing, everything feels lighter! If you need a smile, check out these baby smile quotes. Check out these funny money quotes!

12. Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. – Herman Wouk

13. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents? – Peg Bracken

14. Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money. – Jackie Mason

15. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. – George Carlin

16. “Families cannot prosper and keep America strong if government becomes a Goliath that preys upon their wealth, usurps their rights, and crushes their spirit.” – Ronald Reagan

17. I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died. – Malcolm Forbes

18. There are three books my daughter felt were the most important influences in her life: the Bible, her mother’s cookbook, and her father’s checkbook. – Joyce Mattingly

19. A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfying to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. – Mark Twain 

20. The one thing I will tell you is the worst investment you can have is cash. Everybody is talking about cash being king and all that sort of thing. Cash is going to become worthless over time. But good businesses are going to become worth more over time.” – Warren Buffett


Funny Money Quotes That’ll Brighten Your Bank Account

Last but not least, this list of funny money quotes will brighten your bank account. Not actually, but it will make you laugh about whatever financial situation you are in.

21. It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy.” – George Lorimer

22. Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don’t want to run out of gas on your trip, but you’re not doing a tour of gas stations.” – Tim O’Reilly
23. The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity than a friend is a creditor. – Unknown
24. You wanna know what money sounds like? Go to a trading floor on Wall Street. – Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street

25. If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel.  – Jonathan Swift

26. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.  – Robert Orben

27. If you lend someone $20 and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

28. People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money you can have a key made.  – Joan Rivers

29. Money doesn’t make you happy. I have $50 million, but I was just as happy as when I had $48 million.  – Arnold Schwarzenegger

30. Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube.  Easy to take out, hard to put back.  – Earl Wilson

31. “Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man’s funeral is usually Uncle Sam.” – Olin Miller

Funny Money Quotes

In a world that often takes money matters too seriously, these funny money quotes serve as a reminder to find joy and laughter in our financial journeys, at least that was my goal in compiling them together.

Whether you’re dealing with financial stress or simply looking for a good laugh, these humorous insights provide a refreshing perspective on the sometimes daunting subject of money.

So, take a break from your financial worries, have a giggle, and remember that even the most serious matters can be approached with a sense of humor! Honestly, it makes everything better. If you enjoyed these quotes, then I seriously recommend these I love you more than funny quotes.