Inside: Totally Sarcastic New Years Quotes – Ring in the New Year with a Laugh.
Ringing in the New Year can be an exciting yearly event, one with filled with hope and good intentions. But if we learned anything from 2020 ringing in the new year can also mean one big curveball. Which is why we were inspired to create a full lineup of totally sarcastic New Years quotes.
So cheers to 2021 and big hopes that it is nothing like 2020!
Totally Sarcastic New Years Quotes
These totally sarcastic New Years quotes are too funny not to share!
1. My resolution was to read more so I put the subtitles on my tv.
2. My New Year’s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
3. My wife still hasn’t told me what my New Year’s resolutions are.
4. I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
5. I love it when they drop the ball in Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year.
6. A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
7. May all your troubles last as long as your New Years resolutions
8. What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve? He got 12 months!
Ring in the New Year with a Laugh
Ringing in the new year with a laugh is our new resolution, which is why we love these sarcastic new years quotes.
9. It’s officially New Year’s Eve, you only have a couple of hours to do all the things you will resolve not to do in the new year.
10. People think New Years is a life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.
11. New Year’s is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don’t want you reusing last year’s calendar.
12. What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve? Social Security.
13. New Years Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
14. What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve? I haven’t seen you for a year!
15. My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
Funny Sarcastic New Years Quotes
Here are just a few more funny sarcastic New Years quotes you’ll love.
16. Dear Luck, …..can we be friends in 2021 Please?
17. I want to get so drunk that if vampires bit my neck they’d get a Bloody Mary.
18. Every year I make a resolution to change myself……. this year I’m making a resolution to be myself!
19. I’m actually feeling pretty okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
20. Best New Year’s Resolution: Start giving up. Giving Up.
21. Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
22. Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve stuck with it ever since.
23. Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
More Quotes You’ll Love
If you like these sarcastic new years quotes, then here are a few more great quotes you will totally love.
- Funny Famous Birthday Quotes – Celebrating birthdays is one of our favorite things. There are so many reasons to love birthday, I mean there is cake, gifts, decorations, and everyone sings to you! Like what could be better? Whether you’re turning 21 or 60 birthday are a blessing all around. Here are 25 funny famous birthday quotes you’ll love.
- Hump Day Quotes – It’s Hump Day, or as most of you call it – Wednesday. Maybe you are like us and always giggle a little, or you just like celebrating almost making it through the week when you hear the term Hump Day. Either way, celebrating the middle of the week with some encouragement or a suggestive joke is always fun.
- Good Vibes Quotes – Good vibes only around here, that’s a must! Sometimes life can deal you some bad cards, but it’s how you handle it that matters! With a positive mindset and a kind soul, you can get through anything that life puts in your path. When you spread good vibes then better vibes find you. Check out these 37 Good Vibes Quotes for a happy life!
Let us know in the comments your favorite sarcastic new years quotes are!